I left a tea-light burning in the kitchen
In the dead of night.
There was a sound outside like something was itchin'
To come in from the cold Moonlight
In flies the biggest clumsiest DragonFly you ever saw! Only it’s not a dragonfly and its almost as unbelievable as a Dragon...
What is it you ask?
I'm getting ahead of myself.
The INTRODUCTION
If you are like most people- magic makes no sense to you. So before we go there- let’s talk about something more people agree on…
Girdling. Heard of it?
It occurs in the vineyards when the field-mice start gnawing down the roots of the vines. It kills the vigor of the root and upsets the crop.
When the vineyard up the old hill was having problems with field-mice girdling the vine-roots, the vineyard manager resorted to a resident exterminator. No it wasn't some Joe with a bucket and a slew of crazy rat traps. Nor was it a chemical spray hazmat wearing ruffian, dowsing the place in poison that we all pretend doesn't affect the chardonnay. She installed an Owl box- or an Owlhouse. Yes, This exterminator- was an Owl. The purpose of this is to bypass any poisoning or other such nasty chemical attempt at killing off the miniature rodents.
Bring in a natural predator for the natural pest.
The wholestic approach. The supernal approach. The Owl Spell.
Now we should talk about women getting big dogs.
When a solitary-woman wants to enjoy a regular stroll through the park at sunset- she brings her rottweiler. This calms the owner of the eerie feeling at twilight of ne'er-do-wells- because who would try anything with that beast nearby? This is the wholistic and Supernal approach again. The lady takes to defending herself "to keep dishonest people honest!" - as a wise man once said.
This dog can last much longer than a can of mace or pepper spray. What’s more- the visual of the beast deters the would-be offender to stew and control himself {atleast usually}. This is called "Guard Dog Spell" or "the Rottweiler Omen". It is an ancient enchantment based on a series of rudamentary laws. Magic, malarky, Alchemy- call it what you will. It is the spell sent from on high that makes the solution satisfyingly simple and it is an ancient and wholistic one.
And when you need to clean your house of dark and mischievous energy- you get
a Cat.
And that is what this Story is about: How to Cast a The Cat spell.
Because the thing about cats is---
They are merely all different kinds of Protection Spells. You didn't know that. It’s alright- Not many people do.
In some European countries, it is considered your good fortune to have the corpse of a dead or dessicated cat placed within the walls of a house or apartment. This is because cats are believed to have psychic energy and mystical powers so great that they can ward off evil spirits.
Even when they are deceased.
Now I don’t know about you but- were a dead cat placed in my walls… I’d prefer not to know about it.
What is more spooky than evil spirits hanging around you ask? A cat skeleton just rotting away nearby unseen and for all you know slowly coming back to life!
My Cat Spell
I had this creamsicle cat that came my way by way of the nearby shelter. It's amazing to have a rescue. Especially a cat rescue- a nice fluffy white and orange one. Truly a Find! They look so extra clean that you can't believe your luck-its like having a little Angel and an Apex Predator that can’t hurt you- all in one. It’s like being God. Anyhow- ‘Leona’ was her name. That’s what the shelter named her and I kept it. When I first held her in my arms- she started purring like a porsche. You feel that purr and you instantly relate to all the strange science out there about how Cats heal us just by purring and sending us those vibrations of happiness. Hell the little angels can even speed up the healing process of broken bones! Yes. Thats right.
Then she looks up at me and casts her first spell. She does it by speaking one word.
"Chirp".
Chirp goes my mind. Such is the spell of Calmness Cats can bring.
There are many like myself who believe that cats see evil spirits and it explains their strange behavior- like growling at an empty space or slowly backing away from something, chasing or being chased by a foe that isn't there. The Buddhists believe that cats are the last physical manifestation of the dead before they begin their next life.
I know a cat or two who was given to carrying on conversations of the eight ghosts of his former lives. Yes indeed!
As we all know- a cat tires in the day from all the important duties of the night before. These duties involve patrolling, exercise, and keeping watch for the strange forces that may come in when you and I are asleep. There are different cats for different adversaries. I couldn't possibly tell you what each one is nor what it corresponds to- but I do believe there is a bit of the supernal or heavenly assistance when you are looking to have a cat enter your life domestically. It is the will of the Gods to send you the right familiar for your respective "Girdling" affliction. In short, pick your own little beast based on a shared connection. That is all you have to do.
It is not unlike the ability of the in-season fruit or vegetable to help you recover from the corresponding season's ailment. For example- consuming natural honey from your region will help you stave off that same region's allergies. The Spell of Honey.
Now there was an event that inspired all this tale I'm telling you.
Enter the Thing…
I had this strange little disturbance that used to find a way into the kitchen at night. I only found it after it had done more and more noticeable damage to the walls and cupboards. I had a picture frame fall and even lost a piece of China one evening. Damn it to hell. That China was given to me by a sweet lass indeed- I think she's in Taiwan now.
Sometimes I look out the window and dream I'm still there with the ghosts of those humid nights in Costa Rica, tracing her tired clavicle with my doting forefinger. Then I sigh and think of what it would be like in Taiwan- but the dream is cut short by Sally- the neighbor. She comes in to stick her head in and ask what's up. She has a natural beauty despite her best efforts to bury it in prevailing trends of the age. Everything is overdone there. The Dress is a little too colorful, the Hair is too styled, the Gardening outfit is too fashionable, etc. You want to tell the person- ‘Hey quit trying so hard.’ but- I’m not stupid. Let the sleeping dogs lie. So that’s Sally- She sees the China on the floor and the smashed Picture frame.
A light goes on in those dark eyes of hers.
She tells me that she had the same thing happen in her kitchen a few months ago- and that the same thing occurred to Nancy up the road several nights in a row a few weeks prior as well- and so one night Nancy kept watch. “And would you believe it Charlie-," Says Sally, with a look in her eyes so wild it reminds me why I handle her presence in small doses- very small doses- she continues "Just as poor sleep-deprived Nancy was about to nod off-
Crash!
In flies the biggest clumsiest Dragon Fly you ever saw! Only it’s not a dragon Fly. It’s not a fly. And it’s almost as unbelievable as a Dragon..."
In the interest of clipping things along I'm going to fuse where Sally's Nancy-tale dove-tails into my own odd account.
Now we come to the scene. It is Night. My Kitchen. I have left a tea light on. I find the odd tea-lights comforting- living alone and all. I was asleep but when I was welcomed to the obnoxious waking world by way of several crashing sounds in the kitchen- I was shooting out of bed straight for the noise. It's what a Man does. And this is about where I see the thing that is not a little dragon but just as unbelievable.
Its a small humanoid- maybe four inches tall. The wings of 'The Creature' are Dragon Fly-esque membranes- long flat pieces of veiny glass. And they have that same look- like the wings could cut right through flesh. The moon-light stays outside- as if it wished not to follow the little mischief-maker in through the window- as if content to skulk in the wild shadows of the moaning night without. The tea-light I left burning in the kitchen seems to have brought her in. She is like a moth it seems but certainly not a moth. She's bigger.
The light from the little candle kisses the blue-jet frizz of her hair and her almond eyes seem a bit creepy- especially when she goes from inquisitive to smiling. This is the culprit. I should mention the curse that Sally got. You see, Up until the moment she met the little intruder- she had been a calming presence- almost lackadaisical. Not so after the encounter. In a peculiar transformation she took on a strange state called 'Pettifogging'. In other words- it was an obsessiveness over everything. I'd say it was the compulsive disorder, etc. but alas, she has yet to go and get diagnosed. So it's the Pettifogging Curse as far as I know.
Example- she keeps dialing me and asking for something different than the last thing. Like- can I look at her wobbly table in the Backyard and see whats wrong with it. I go to sleep and dread the sounds of her moving all through her house with one or two lights on. I feel awful and sorry for her. Some people you just have to keep your boundry up for.
Next morning I am leaving the house and there she is hosing her garden while she waves goodbye to me-you'd think we were married- and then seeing me leave she runs after me with her calico dress all a flutter. I'm noticing a perfume on her that I never did before- actually I couldn’t ever tell you what she smelled like before that. But I glimpse a look that slithers into her eye. I know that look. It is hungry. It is desperate for attention- any attention, feinding to ask some kind of question. This strange condition happened to her after she met the thing that came in from the Night. Anyway- I let her know I’m in a hurry. Which is partially true. I have errands to run. Countries to conquer.
Anyway thats the strange condition of my poor neighbor, Sally- she wasn’t always like that. Someone said 'She got cursed' and now it makes sense. And now I’m staring at this"Thing that came in from the Night". She looks at me with those creepy sparkling almonds in her face and a strange sneer comes over her. She raises those hands towards me and some crimson sparkles slowly light up her palms and fingers. I'm too slow... In a trance of some sort. God help me. She makes to fly closer and then-
"Chirp"
The winged creature stops channeling her curse, confused and looks into a chilling glare from Leona who has startled us both with her stealthy appearance on the scene. A strange sound emanates from the little puffball. It's menacing- like a very annoyed violin.
I don't know what’s come over Leona but the winged creature- being the target of that psychic feline venom that resides in the unleashed glare of the Cat's eye- begins to have second thoughts of her initial sadistic spell and becomes quite frantic. She makes for the exit back to the moonlight. In a flash my cat is gone. That is- she's not the same. Something has come over her. She leaps from her spot on the counter clear across the kitchen to the other counter top in hot pursuit of the desperate creature.
It's happening in an instant but I see it in slow motion. Cats are an optical Illusion. They get fat when they are domesticated. They actually make you believe they are more dependent on you than they are. Then all of a sudden a moment happens and they 'switch' into that primal apex killing machine. I'm watching Leona soar through the air in slow motion. Her huge fluffy self kissed by the breeze of a wind that she alone is making. Her four fluffy paws stick the landing on the sink rim.
Just as the winged intruder is about to get to the window- there is a single cotton-ball-of-a-white-paw that raises in the air.
SLAP!
With a cheap slap of her fluffy paw on the The Curse-Creator's back - disrupting its defiant control of gravity, Leona sends the Thing-that-Came-In-from-the-Night, tumbling out the window to a humiliating thud in the moonlit backyard. Leona then reads the riot act to the varment, detailing each foreboding statement with fervor like the angry violinist that she is.
Another light turns on and illuminates the yard. Upon the light from the neighboring house blasting onto her- the winged creature hisses- she looks back at Leona- who is perched just inside the window glaring at her and the Creature decides it best to fly away to her new destiny as a suburban legend. We never hear from the varment again. No curse befalls me. Good riddance. I shudder, recalling the strange feeling in her almond eyes. It looked like... spite.
"Charlie?" comes Sally's voice, "is everything okay? Why- Leona? What’s the matter dear?"
"Chirp."
"There there."
Sally appears at the window in an old fashioned negligee. Its long and tasteful- it very delicately flatters her small cleavage and covers the knees - almost reaches down to her little ankles. Huh. They really like eachother Leona and her. Never noticed that before. Sally gives her a good scratch on the head- Leona purrs so loudly she could fall off the window sill.
"Hi Charlie! You ARE here. Everything alright?
"Hi Sally. Yes. Now it is." I smile, as I begin processing the recent strange events.
"O thank goodness- when I heard— Leona- I felt very worried. I don't know why but --"
"Thank you. Sally.", I say, oddly comforted.
I’m becoming aware of strange forces. What's happening here? I'm looking at her in that negligee and she's petting this beast and I'm at peace and we are both smiling in the middle of the night. The purring is loud enough to dispel any awkwardness. It actually drives us to laugh. I look at Leona who is making it known she loves this skull-petting-session she is getting. Then I get a feeling and I speak her name.
"Sally---"
"Yes?"
"That Table in your yard... I can meet you tomorra afternoon and have a look at it?"
"Oh... um."
"Its alright if you’re busy." As I concede this the purring oddly begins to soften to the background as Cat's strangely do. Eager to make sure I don’t misinterpret her hesitance, Sally immediately comes to.
"No! I-- how does 12:30 sound?" The question hangs in the air. Floating on a gentle purr as Leona works her enchantment spell- a spell that seems to bring Sally back to her calmer, former self- you’d think her Pettifogging Curse was wearing off. A shy smile crosses the woman's face like a little sunrise - with an uncertainty that compells me to want to comfort her.
"12:30 is perfect." We say our goodbyes and tell eachother to get some sleep. When we are alone- Leona looks over to me still purring though no one is petting her, she Chirps, and trots off to find her spot on the other counter top again by the Candle.
And there’s busy Sally up on her balcony of hanging gardens, taking a plant in and I can’t fight the urge to linger there and watch her. She smiles to me- as she turns away… I glimpse something raised along her waist beneath her Negligee. I think it's a girdle.
There is something like a whispered breath that hisses passed my ear but— there’s nothing there; just Leona on the other side of the Kitchen. She’s standing my the tea candle I left. It’s strange- she’s looking at me from behind the flame. I can’t tell if she’s staring into the fire… or at me.